Daily Diary 2: Talking About…. Nothing really!

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I had a long meeting today.  I just listened to people arguing and discussing many issues.  I had nothing to say this time.  Well, nothing to say in every time.  I am having a trouble with coming along with my colleagues.  Probably because they all are older than me and have Masters and PHDs! My days aren’t similar.  They’re very mysterious and even though I try to set a routine for myself, there is always a thing that occurs and changes everything.  I wake up and get prepared for the day.  I make my coffee and carry my mug to the car.  I drink it while I watch people around me.  they’re like everywhere.  Each of them is going somewhere, reaching for something and think of something that could be different or maybe similar to what i usually think about. I enjoy the observation.  I just love to see the people.  their faces tell me a story.  Every glance and every movement.

When I returned from work today, I was very upset over absolutely nothing.  I was tired and hungry.  In days like these, I usually like to reward myself with a delicious Burger King meal, Whopper.  Not this time.  I didn’t want to do that.  My depression of the day, yes i have many types of depression in every single day, continued till 7 pm.  After that it was all over.  the reason is that I worked out at the gym for a whole hour.  The best hour of this week I gotta say! as I ran my depression was releasing from my body and soul.  With every breath! It was an amazing feeling.  After the jogging, I had a class with the trainer, who was really adorable.  Again, the whole twisted feelings vanished gradually.  I basically not only got rid of those feelings, I got to boost my happiness.

I know that I am a very stressed person.  I worry about anything even if it was so cheering.  All I do is thinking negatively.  I find something wrong in everyday and when something bad really happens, I think about it over and over again until I ruin every possible opportunity of being happy in that main day.  So, I decided to shut up and never talk and nag about my life with my closest sisters and friends because it’s bad enough that I think about these things to myself.  This was already tiring so I didn’t want to load the load! Working out really worked for me.  I am thinking of having yoga classes too.

Hope I’ll keep swimming

W,

Daily Diary 1: thoughts thoughts thoughts

Greetings everyone!

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It’s been a long time since the last I have written. I’ve been so busy focusing in my job: translation and other things.  All of a sudden I decided to write something, anything.  I decided to write my diaries here in my blog and will try to stick to them every once in a while.  I thought that when I will find a job, then all my worries will disappear but turned out that there are many challenges and the competition; oh the competition doesn’t stop at all.  We never stop being tested and everyone is doing something and hopes for something higher.

I ask myself a lot now about my dreams and what I want to do next.  Am I supposed to try something that is new for me; something I have never tried before.  Some other thought yelled at me, “seriously? Now you ask what you really want?” I felt guilty because I am in age where I should have a clear vision of what I want! I am not unhappy but I am not thrilled either.  I am just scared.  I am always scared of anything.  Maybe things will turn on just fine, as they’re supposed to be.

Just keep swimming,

W,