Yesterday was one of those days where you pick a fight or get sensitive over some people’s comments or attitudes. The days where you decide to explode after a long time of patience and silence. At least this is what I thought but for the first time I felt that may be I am not a sensitive person as I think about myself. Maybe it’s good to say that you’re upset over something, regardless of how people may react or think. It’s that simple! When people around us tend to say what they like and don’t like, why should we shut our mouths when theirs are widely opened? So after thinking for a while, I thought that yes I will talk to this person and list the things that bothered me, instead of gossiping and carrying a heavy luggage in my heart. Trust me, after the long peaceful talk we had, I felt really good. My heart lightened and my mind cleared. Why is that? Because I managed to translate my feelings maybe for the first time in my life! And to make this post more valuable for readers, I decided to do a small research on human relationships, problems and how to deal with them?
So how the human relationships work?
Communication process evolves from three main areas: listening, feedback and conflict resolution or problem solving. In simple words, we listen, react and have some complexities with each other. We deal with people at work, home and even with total strangers at the same exact way over and over again. What differs is that sometimes you get upset over someone; or someone gets upset over you. This process becomes communicational (is this word correct?) because we use the technique of “feedback“: sending and receiving messages (and this is what I used to fix the problem I had yesterday). Feedback grows with discussions and then leads to a conclusion that could be positive or negative.
When do problems occur?
Everyone has their own problems and they differ in many ways: characters, time, plot and place (That’s a play not a problem!); but the roots of these different problems are always the same:
- Different perspectives and opinions
- Cultural differences and beliefs
- Aggressive competition
- Arrogance: When people believe that others are nothing compared to them
- Chemistry just doesn’t match!
The reasons go on and on as societies and people grow in age and number. Unfortunately, these reasons lead to fights, total abandonment, misunderstanding and hate. And each of us get to choose how to deal with any problem and by our responds, we can make solutions, or only make the problems get bigger.
How to deal with problems like that?
The first thing you should do is calm down, because if you don’t, you’ll end up making bad decisions and saying the wrong things. Sometimes, writing down the whole experience helps you to see the problem in front of you and then make the solutions you think are right. I prefer writing more than telling everyone around me what happened and that’s because when I talk to my friends or anyone close from me for example, they’ll always consider me the right one even if I was the one who is wrong. So writing or even drawing will make you face YOURSELF, so you could see where you were wrong. Then decide what you want to do. After that, apply your decision but try to be fast, you don’t want to back off and hide what upsets you. The final thing is accept the conclusion, whether it was positive or negative: the other person may not accept your perspective, or they may keep annoying you non- stop. In that case remember this saying, “If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.” -Dr. Maya Angelou. You can choose to ignore them or maybe become really formal so you draw a line between you and them.
I know that the social problems aren’t as big as health problems or any huge problem but it changes our mood, which means that we care. Remember that honesty and facing what bothers us always works the best.
I hope you enjoyed reading my post